It's time to revisit my original reason for starting this blog. Over the last three months, I've written about about passion, inspiration, and hope, amongst other things. I started this blog as a way to focus my thoughts, interests, and to better understand my passions. Today I (figuratively) stand before you and confess that I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Recently, several bloggers whom I truly admire (like Kate at Wit and Delight) have expressed their doubts over continuing to blog. As a new blogger, this comes as a shock to me! I find the exercise of blogging cathartic and to be a true expression of who I am and what I enjoy. This morning, sick in bed with a cold, I went back over my blog posts. I'm delighted to tell you today that although I remain a Diva-in-Distress, I have a truly full life. That, my friends, is priceless.
Why then do I keep DID status? Well, because I still haven't found "it". I haven't found that thing that I feel pulled to become. I am primarily talking about my career, but who knows what "it" will actually manifest itself in. Perhaps it's a need to feel original? If I've learned anything during my blogging stint, it's that being original is the hardest part.
People talk about finding their soul mate and describe having just known that this was the right person for them. Jordan Reid at Ramshackle Glam met her husband-to-be and married him all within a year. It is the same thing I hope to experience in my life, even though my life is full to the rim with great friends, interests, family, and an amazing husband, I still spend endless hours trying to figure out who I am supposed to become and how I will make my mark on society.
Perhaps it's narcissism that drives this feeling. Is the thought that you must "become" something or "leave your mark on society" one that is entirely driven by a bloated self esteem? I hope not! If it is, I hope we all have bloated self esteems like this woman or nothing spectacular can happen in life.
So for now, please continue to read and stick with me on this journey. I have complete confidence that I will find what I'm looking for and no longer be a DID. I may to change the blog title to diva-in-delight someday.
p.s. I started reading Ingrid Betancourt's book, Even Silence Has an End, it recaps her time in captivity in the Colombian jungle. I highly recommend it! She is an amazing writer.